


pit patter goes the beat of her heart

by kanjogirl



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Aftermath, Canonical Character Death, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-23
Updated: 2013-10-23
Packaged: 2017-12-30 06:59:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1015562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kanjogirl/pseuds/kanjogirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The night they get back, they find themselves wrapped up in each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	pit patter goes the beat of her heart

For the first time, it isn’t raining. 

 

The night is still, waves crash against the ridge but it’s quieter than normal and everyone seems to be asleep besides those on watch. Winds aren’t as harsh like before, it comes in whispers of condolences because it’s like Mother Nature is honoring the fallen warriors. 

 

It doesn’t ease the overwhelming sickening feeling of grief that washes over Mako. She wishes it would rain. Because at least it would fit the storm raging inside her. Her chest tightens with the lost that had been heaved upon her. She realizes she almost suffered another intimate loss when Raleigh wouldn’t freaking breathe. And maybe she should be thankful but it’s her father and everything seems to have gone dead.

 

When they had returned, Raleigh had kept a hand over hers and she made sure she was close at all times. It wasn’t that she had been afraid of losing him, she just needed someone there and she knows he did too. Everyone had celebrated, smiles on their faces and congratulating them. She shared their joy. Stacker taught her to rejoice when it was appropriate and that is what she did—so did Raleigh.

 

Everything died down when night fell and they retreated to her room. They didn’t really talk, just stayed in each other’s presence and she wanted to ask him to stay when he got up and slowly went to the door. He had glanced back and she knew he wanted her to say something too. Instead, two minutes later, she climbed out onto the hanger bay, where their Jaeger would have been parked. 

 

Her feet dangle off the edge and she thinks it would be a good time to cry, unfold into that mess she believes she is. Stacker always told her it was okay to cry but she only saw him do it once in her life. She thinks about the times when he had stayed up late when she had another night terror and tears had been running down her face. He had been there, holding her. She remembers the times when she brought him her test scores for every big exam she’s ever had and that subtle smile and gleam in his eye. The time he took off so that they could travel to Japan so she could delve back into the culture she had grown up in. 

 

Suddenly, there’s a vast emptiness inside her and she takes in a sharp breath but chokes on it, hunching her shoulders before defeat finally overcomes her. 

 

It’s finally over.

 

But he is gone.

 

She thinks of the lives lost in collateral damage, how the majority of the world will be reeling from the death. And Mako wonders how many times she’ll have to keep feeling that continuous cycle. The war is over but there’s a new fear creeping inside her that seems expected.

 

It doesn’t fully surprise her heavy footfalls are head behind her, boots on the metal she sits on. They stop beside her. He’s looking at her, she knows. With that look he gives her when he’s more than worried about her. She’s worried about him too, honestly. They’ve been inside each other’s head, known each other’s demons, the shock and trauma and Mako realizes that’s probably why she ended up here so that he could find her. 

 

They end up in his room, with his hand in hers. He’s not entirely leading but she doesn’t protest when Raleigh opens his door instead of hers. He doesn’t say anything and maybe that’s just a part of the Drift but either way, it’s more comforting than anything. 

 

On a military issued mattress, at two in the morning, they hold each other. There, she unravels, breathing out and it feels easier suddenly. His chest rises and falls under her palm as she stretches her fingers against the blue sweater he wears. The comforting thought lingers with her.

 

He’s breathing.

 

Raleigh’s left arm goes around her waist, carefully, and she remembers from the Drift that he sleeps on his right side because of his left shoulder. She scoots closer as he does so, hooking her ankle between his. Mako wonders if he’s listening to her heartbeat, something she caught from his thoughts. Whenever they had been too close, that is what he would listen to and Mako takes some comfort in that. So he’s probably doing it now, feeling her pulse against his fingers, just as she holds out for him taking the deep breaths he needs. 

 

And it should feel strange because they’re not saying a word but it’s like they never had to. They’re not making it about themselves separately, but about them. This is the war they’ve survived and the battle scars drag across both their skins, matching in depth. And she knows he knows. Somehow, it’s the most satisfying feeling in the world because for the first time she has someone who carries her burden and she’s able to carry theirs. 

 

She had always looked up to Stacker for fighting the monsters and now she had been able to fight them beside someone she trusts with equal measure. 

 

When she cries, he does too and it’s quiet, like the night that wraps them up in sorrowful sympathies that they accept with some reluctance. Her head is tucked under his chin and she takes in his warmth. He murmurs her name and she thinks it’s the saddest thing that has passed his lips. 

 

And she’s suddenly thirteen again, wrapped in the arms of Stacker Pentecost with the delicate comfort that can only come from a loving father. And Mako thinks that, yeah, it might be okay to cry. So she says it’s okay to Raleigh and he kisses the top of her head and Mako can only hold on tighter. It’s nice because she knows it will be fine.

 

They wake entangled together, breathing with new life as the rains begin again.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a prompt at livejournal.


End file.
